I realized the damaging significance of religious narcissists when Jesus chose that topic for His last public teaching before His crucifixion.

I discovered I pursued a short-sighted goal. When I seek victory for the next step in narcissistic abuse healing, God wants to accomplish more. He desires to heal, as well as to grow me spiritually, preparing me for eternity with Him.

The process of stepping out of the cycle of abuse in the relationship required identifying the pattern, letting go of my expectations, and releasing it all. The budding new life that followed the completion of this death march surprised me.

wordless prayers continued most prominently, though, during my marriage to a narcissist. When I brought my aching soul to the Lord, I often just wept in God’s presence because I lacked the words to describe the wounding experience.

My journey of healing from narcissistic abuse. Others recalling happy memories - I was there also—planning, packing, cleaning up, smoothing things over, and hiding the hardships I bore in silence. I have since learned, though, that emotional health requires recalling the bad times as well as the good.

My journey of healing from narcissistic abuse. God reshaped and "circumcised" my heart from the callouses formed by a lifetime of narcissistic distortions and The exhausting effort of trying to emotionally connect with a narcissistic father and eventually husband.

My journey of healing from narcissistic abuse. I failed to understand that in a narcissistic relationship, my efforts would always continue to fall short.

My journey of healing from narcissistic abuse. The path reminded me of my fears of the future as I walked away from all things familiar.

While enduring a narcissistic relationship I was prayed for wisdom and for God to show me His will in this situation and not my own.

While enduring a narcissistic relationship I was confidently envisioning God’s breastplate protecting my heart and my mind protects me from the temptation to retaliate in anger. This spiritual truth now strengthens me to stand firm and confident in who I am in Christ.

The highs and lows in this healing journey from a narcissistic relationship often heighten my desire for someone to hold my hand, especially on the days when I feel I have lost my way. When that happens, I often gently clasp my own hands and envision the spiritual reality that God lovingly and securely holds them as He leads me along this path of life.

The old testament individuals looked forward in faith to what God would ultimately accomplish through the promised Messiah. I revel in the fulfillment of their faith—salvation through the sacrifice of God’s Son, Jesus Christ. God’s covenant promise that fueled their faith is now a vital part of my story.

When emotional and psychological weariness weaken my courage to face reality, make decisions, and take steps of action, I remember God’s grace and strength. I offer silent prayers of, “Father, give me strength and focus to see what I need to see, to understand what I need to understand, and to accomplish what I need to accomplish today.”

Much of my tolerance of narcissistic abuse resulted from my incomplete understanding of Paul’s teaching on submission. I failed, though, to apply the biblical principles that preceded and followed Paul’s teaching.

Jesus knew of my slow spiral into emotional paralysis during decades of a stunting disorder—narcissistic abuse syndrome*. Healing required designated times for reflection, insight, education, and counseling along with a determination to pick up my emotional mat and walk—to grow, to change, and to engage with life differently.

I question God as I untangle my heart from the complexities of a narcissistic relationship. Why did You allow me to marry a narcissist?   God always answers when I ask in sincerity and in faith. With time, I learned: 1) I could not know what I did not know, and 2) God showed me the truth I sought when I was ready to see it.

I question God as I untangle my heart from the complexities of a narcissistic relationship. Why did You allow me to marry a narcissist?   God always answers when I ask in sincerity and in faith. With time, I learned: 1) I could not know what I did not know, and 2) God showed me the truth I sought when I was ready to see it.

I doubted God’s ability to redeem my failed relationship with a narcissist. The soul numbing, intangible ways narcissism wounded my heart convinced me these injuries were, indeed, unredeemable.

While I find my way out of the consequences of narcissistic abuse, I often notice that melancholy moments fuel a sense of deep remorse. However, even though I experience grief, I struggle to identify what I grieve.

As I identified the complexities of my relationship with a narcissist, a mysterious dynamic surfaced—a sense that I belonged to the narcissist. Both his possessive, controlling behaviors and my compliance contributed to this illusion of belonging.

The intense mental struggle and chaos of my narcissistic marriage distracted me from the peace of God. Along with intense spiritual warfare Satan attempts to hijack your peace. God can teach us to break free from old patterns and experience new found peace.

Realizing that the narcissist’s false narrative had contributed to that detachment of my child amplified my anguish even more. I attempted to rebuild my own life and Identified the deception as Satan’s strategy for discouraging my heart and sabotaging my progress.

Acknowledging my desensitized soul from narcissist abuse allowed God to begin the transformation—restoring it to a heart of flesh.

I never felt treasured by my narcissistic spouse by faith I embrace that I am treasured by God.