Try, Try Again

…not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit….

Zechariah 4:6

My counselor responded to my lament of, “But I love him,” with, “Or maybe it is a Trauma Bond*.” Months later, after examining the challenging concept of the Narcissistic Abuse Cycle**, I learned how the cycle creates psychological bonding, a Trauma Bond.

For years, I made the decision to reengage at the end of each cycle of abuse, believing Christian wives had the ability and the responsibility to maintain the marriage. I repeatedly tried to respond differently to the abuse in hopes the relationship would improve. However, I failed to understand that in a narcissistic relationship, my efforts would always continue to fall short.

The message given through the prophet Zechariah to Zerubbabel for building the temple applies to my efforts for maintaining my marriage: “…not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the LORD Almighty (Zechariah 4:6).

My "might and power" for reengaging with the narcissist simply kept the cycle spinning. Once I paused to evaluate and to seek truth, God provided the insight and strength to step out of the endless pattern. I released my efforts, my “might and power,” into the control of God’s Holy Spirit for the LORD Almighty to accomplish His will.

Heavenly Father, thank You for truths embedded in Your Word for finding my way. Thank You for intervening in my dizzying cycle of narcissistic abuse and for providing insight and strength. I rejoice that Your Spirit is always present to accomplish Your will for me when I release my striving. In the name of Your Son, Jesus, I pray, amen.

© makingsenseofmylife.com

*the emotional attachment the victim feels toward the perpetrator. www.Psychologytoday.com

**continual, repeated events in an abusive relationship. www.Psychologytoday.com