Rejecting Shame

…for the joy that was set before Him….

Hebrews 12:2

My narcissistic relationship generated shame for failure to measure up to my former husband’s expectations. For many years, I sought professional guidance, but no counselor at that time addressed the dynamics of narcissism. My shameful conclusion was that I had failed in the relationship.

None of my shame, though, compared to the shame imposed upon Jesus Christ. He was falsely accused, mocked, whipped, spit upon, then hung naked upon a cross. Jesus, fully God and fully human understands my vulnerabilities to shame’s emotional numbing and isolation.

However, Jesus refused to internalize the shame He experienced. He despised the shame (Hebrews 12:2). The Greek for despised means He—thought little or nothing of it, disregarded it. He chose to not accept the shame that rightfully belonged to the soldiers, the religious leaders, and the mockers.

The author of Hebrews offers additional guidance:

…let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God (Hebrews 12:1-2 ESV).

The narcissist’s shaming no longer defines me. I choose to release what does not belong to me—the shameful words and actions that rightfully belong to another.

Father, just as you guided Your Son to reject the shame directed toward Him, continue to prompt me to do the same as I challenge it with Your truth. Thank You also for reminding me of my identity as Your dearly loved child. In the name of Your shame-rejecting Son, Jesus, I pray, amen.

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