Protection for my Heart

Stand firm then…with the breastplate of righteousness in place….

Ephesians 6:14

During my narcissistic spouse’s outbursts, I habitually stuffed my feelings while attempting to de-escalate and pacify his rage. Occasionally, though, I took-the-bait and my anger erupted. Afterwards, I felt defeated, broken, confused, angry, and shamed.

However, identifying the pattern of my spouse’s abusive behavior eventually brought clarity. I realized that my outbursts occurred when I responded to his baiting*—words and actions intended to draw me into a conflict. The realization that he received affirmation (narcissistic supply) from my emotional outburst propelled me to seek healthier responses**.   

Ephesians 6:14 offers a spiritual resource for just such an occasion, the equivalent of a bullet proof vest. Paul identifies the breastplate of righteousness—God’s righteousness credited to me through Jesus Christ’s atoning death.

Confidently envisioning God’s breastplate protecting my heart and my mind protects me from the temptation to retaliate in anger. This spiritual truth now strengthens me to stand firm and confident in who I am in Christ. I not only feel better equipped but also calmer, as I trust my heavenly Father to stand with me.  

Father, continue to guide me in applying the spiritual resources available to me as Your child. I choose emotional steadiness knowing I can be victorious in Your righteousness. Guide me as I honestly evaluate my actions, repent of my wrongdoing, and walk in the power of Your Holy Spirit. May You be glorified as I acquire new resources for self-care. Through the name of Your Son, Jesus, I pray, amen.

© makingsenseofmylife.com

*Ramani Durvasula, PhD., It’s Not You, Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People. (New York: Viking, Penguin Random House, 2024), 52.

**I might also choose to physically exit.