New Life

I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

 John 10:10

The demise of a narcissistic relationship involves a form of death: death to self as well as death to hope. Years of struggle, sacrifice, and prayers for God to create something out of what did not exist affected me physically and spiritually. My body and my soul shriveled under the oppression.

The process of stepping out of the cycle of abuse in the relationship required identifying the pattern, letting go of my expectations, and releasing it all to God. The budding new life that followed the completion of this death march surprised me. I no longer responded defensively to devaluations and criticisms. I also stopped attempting to resolve each of the narcissist’s complaints. Rather than staying home as he preferred, I began attending social events by myself and selected TV shows I wanted to watch. Each new behavior indicated I had begun individuating* from the enmeshed identity of the relationship.

Jesus’ teaching in John 10:10 identifies both the emotional and spiritual results of my detaching: “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” My first new life began the moment I yielded my life to Jesus Christ asking Him to be my Savior. At that time, though, I did not understand Jesus would continue to recreate my identity as His child and to fashion His new life within me—a new life in which I could experience fresh hope and an expanded awareness of a life lived fully.

Father, thank You for reminding me that You designed my life to continually transform under the loving touch and guidance of Your hand. May I persevere in claiming my freedom from the bondage that comes from this world. In the freedom and power of Jesus who died for me, I pray, amen.

© makingsenseofmylife.com

*Developing an identity separate from the narcissistic relationship