The Gift of Grief

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted….”

Psalm 34:18

I remember asking a counselor about the possibility of “bulk grieving.” I wanted to list my losses, grieve them simultaneously, and get on with my life. I wilted at her reply, “Bulk grieving is not effective. You must grieve each loss separately.”

I thought of her response when unboxing a treasured picture—a framed stick figure drawing. My kindergartener drew each of our family members in blue crayon before completing the masterpiece with a printed signature.

This treasured drawing accompanied me from home to home throughout our moves. Yet, this time, unboxing it brought sadness instead of the usual joy—because that family structure no longer exists.

After several days of indecision, I decided to grieve our family’s change of status then gently place the drawing among other family mementos, mementos awaiting their own time for grieving.

I also set aside time to grieve that this now-adult child must also experience the reality of a narcissistic father and a broken home. Along with grieving, however, I will also offer thanks for the gift of this child, a gift that materialized because of his narcissistic father and marvel, once again, at the mystery of God’s grace.

Father, thank you for sweetness mingled with the grief as I unframed this child’s artwork. Joyful memories of their childhood continue to bless me even though our family system has restructured. Thank You for this redeeming gift of life. In the name of Jesus, the giver of all life, I pray, amen.

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