The Gift of Closure

…Surely, I am with you always, to the very end of the age.

Matthew 28:20

The presenter for a Leading Small Groups workshop said, “Life is made up of hellos and goodbyes. We practice our hellos but neglect our goodbyes.” The concluding lecture focused on the importance of closure in both long-term and short-term relationships.

I reflected upon closure recently while viewing the final video from an online therapist*. His lectures had profoundly influenced my recovery from narcissistic abuse. The concluding video contained all the components the workshop identified as important for closure: reflection, appreciation, takeaways, and well-wishes.

I yearn for the same closure in my goodbye to the narcissist. Yet, I accept that closure with a narcissist is a gift they are incapable of giving. I expect no “I’m sorry,” “Thank you for the years we shared,” “Thank you for loving me so well,” or “I wish you the best in the years ahead.”

Instead, I seek closure in two biblical principles: 1) God allowed this relationship within His permissive will. 2) God will redeem for His glory all He allows. The Apostle Paul wrote, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (being conformed to the image of Christ, v. 29)” (Romans 8:28).

I also lean into the comfort and closure of Jesus’ parting words to His disciples, “Surely, I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20).

Father, thank You for providing the closure I sought when I entrusted this unfinished feeling to You. Thank You for helping me place an emotional period in my life so that I can move forward with confidence into my tomorrows. In the name of Your gift-giving Son, Jesus, I pray, amen.

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*Dr. Les Carter, Surviving Narcissism