When Jesus Feels Unfamiliar

…Jesus resolutely set out for Jerusalem.

Luke 9:51b

Oswald Chambers writes in his classic devotional, My Utmost for His Highest, about a time when the disciples’ relationship with Jesus no longer felt familiar. Rather than daily  teaching, healing, and intimate conversations, they saw a new focus—traveling to Jerusalem to fulfill His purpose for coming to earth.

Chambers relays a similar time in his relationship with Jesus: “I begin to realize there is a distance between Jesus Christ and me; I can no longer be familiar with Him. He is ahead of me and He never turns around; I have no idea where He is going and the goal has become strangely far off*.”

I know that feeling. The phrase, “He is ahead of me and He never turns around” describes Jesus as He rescued me from the trauma bonding of a narcissistic relationship. I felt both strangely alone yet clearly with Him as I stumbled along behind him.

Fortunately, that season is resolving with time. Once again, I feel Christ’s gentle presence. He is my Counselor and Friend as my confusion and pain continue to resolve.

Oswald Chambers offers a word of encouragement for such times with an unfamiliar Jesus: “When the darkness of dismay comes, endure until it is over, because out of it will come that following (of) Jesus which is unspeakable joy**.”

Father, I identify with the disciples in their confusion about Jesus and His determination to reach Jerusalem. Thank You for helping me identify those times when I sense Jesus’ presence yet also His distance, because both demonstrate His great love. It is in His rescuing name I pray, amen.

© makingsenseofmylife.com

*Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest, (Grand Rapids, Discovery House Publishers, 1993), March 15, pg. 87.

** Ibid.