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  • Alice N

Hiding My Heart

Healing from narcissistic abuse initially feels like hauling off boulders of emotional pain and heaving stones of despair over the fence. For believers, this focused work fits under the broader umbrella of becoming more like Christ, i.e. sanctification.


You are my hiding place;

you will protect me from trouble

and surround me with songs of deliverance.

Ps. 32:7


I treasured spending time with friends, whether one-on-one or in gatherings.

Over time, the woundings of narcissistic abuse down-sized my friendships and my social calendar. I felt emotionally vulnerable in gatherings. I never knew when comments or questions would prompt embarrassing tears.

Withdrawing into social isolation protected my heart. As I sought for answers, I learned this could either provide a temporary season of healing or an unhealthy pattern hindering my emotional recovery.

With time, I discovered what I needed to feel emotionally safe:

  Time with empathetic friends

Knowledge of my wounds from narcissistic abuse

Boundaries for conversations with inquiring minds

Practice for entering God’s hiding place

A friend who survived a compelling crisis shared she envisioned herself rocked in the arms of Jesus. I remember during my darkest days, I often imagined myself curled at the feet of Jesus as I slept. I had entered that safe place of refuge with God. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge (Ps. 91:4).

The Lord has helped me find my way back to emotional safety within select social gatherings, where my joy blends in harmony with others’.

Father, thank You for providing a hiding place for my heart—a safe place to heal and grow. Thank You for Your gentle counsel for each step forward. I offer the psalmist’s benediction for all who need a safe place to rest and to launch.

“May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord,

even as we put our hope in You.”

Ps. 33:22 





© Making Sense of My Life

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