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The Religious Narcissist

Alice N


Healing from narcissistic abuse initially feels like hauling off boulders of emotional pain and heaving stones of despair over the fence. For believers, this focused work fits under the broader umbrella of becoming more like Christ, i.e. sanctification.

 

…woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites!

Matthew 23:13

 

My love for a religious narcissist added an additional layer of confusion to my relationship struggles. The public’s accolades increased my willingness to tolerate his private toxic behaviors.


In contrast, Jesus confronted hypocrisy. In Matthew 23, He warned His followers about  a specific group of religious people—teachers of the law and Pharisees. He used words such as: hypocrites; blind guides; white washed tombs; blind fools; snakes, and brood of vipers (vs.13-33).


On the outside those religious teachers appeared to be righteous, but inside they were full of hypocrisy and wickedness (v. 28). Jesus said they neglected the more important matters of the law—justice, mercy, and faithfulness (v. 23).


Amazingly, Jesus followed his scathing remarks with an analogy for how He felt about their students, often referred to as children, the children of Jerusalem. Jesus lamented, “…how often I have longed to gather your children together as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings but you were not willing” (v. 37).


Jesus still seeks to gather those trapped under the abuse of narcissists who use positions of spiritual leadership and authority for managing their image or for power and control. He longs for His followers to recognize the pretense and to find spiritual freedom. Jesus grieved over my bondage to the narcissist’s illusion of godliness. He also opened my eyes and became the rescuer of my heart.


Father, thank You for the relevancy of Your Word and for continuing to reveal what my heart needs to see to heal. Guide those in relationship with or under the influence of a religious narcissist to truth and emotional healing as they seek Your leading. May You be glorified in each of our journeys. In Your Son’s name, Jesus, I pray, amen. 



 

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© 2024 Now I Get It! Making Sense of the Narcissist in Your Life

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