The Complexity of a Moral Injury

If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts,

and he knows everything.

1 John 3:20

After setting new boundaries with my narcissistic ex., instead of feeling emotionally safe and confident in my newly-achieved self-care skills, I struggled with guilt. Rather than standing taller, I felt cruel. I was able to begin unraveling my internal confusion only after  I identified this emotional conflict as a “moral injury*”.

Though setting these boundaries protects my heart, it also betrays my core values of compassion, forgiveness, and peace-seeking. As a result, my inner conflict battles against my intended goal of emotional safety. In addition, the narcissist amplifies this conflict by distorting my boundaries to others and portraying himself as the victim.

In past years, these same guilt producing behaviors effectively sabotaged my boundary setting and discouraged me from making my wishes known or asking for what I needed. Understanding the concept of moral injury helps me take intentional steps for resolving this vulnerability.  

In God’s Word, John offers wisdom for a those who come to the Lord yet struggle with “condemning hearts.”

This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything (1 John 3:19-20).

John’s reminder that God knows everything about my heart, my situation, and my confusion enables me to set my heart at rest before Him, confident that He will bring me to a place of truth and peace.

Father, thank you for bringing calm to my restless heart when my own thoughts and emotions work to sabotage my peace. Thank You for giving me a sensitive spirit. Integrate Your discernment and Your wisdom into my attempts for self-care for Your glory and for Your Kingdom. In the name of Your compassionate Son, Jesus, I pray, amen.

© makingsenseofmylife.com

*“Social, psychological, and spiritual harm that arises from a betrayal of one’s core values, such as justice, fairness, and loyalty.” www.PsychologyToday.com