Starved for Love

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you.

John 15:9

My heart shriveled from years of starvation. I had sought love through failed efforts to please, accommodate, and coddle the narcissist in my life. I believed I could be enough to earn their love.

I failed to understand a narcissist’s definition of a loving relationship differed from mine on the most fundamental level:

I believed loving relationships were empathetic and reciprocal.

They believed relationships were useful and transactional.

When I read Jesus’ declaration of love for his disciples, I marveled.

As the Father has loved me,

so have I loved you.

Now remain in my love.

John 15:9 (formatting mine.)

Jesus loved me as much as God loved Jesus. I read and believed, but my shriveled heart struggled to absorb such a glorious truth.

Day by day, I am choosing to remain in His love by sitting quietly in His presence in prayer, through reading His Word, gathering with other believers, or rocking quietly on my porch listening to the sounds of His creation.

In doing so, I feel my heart beginning to heal and to experience the feeling of

true love.

©makingsenseofmylife