Peacemaking with a Narcissist?

Blessed are the peacemakers….

Matthew 5:9

When I read blessed are the peacemakers, I felt un-blessed because I had failed as a peacemaker in my relationship with a narcissist. Today, I view the peacemaking Jesus taught with new eyes.

Narcissists thrive on conflict. Peacemaking in a narcissistic relationship requires applying Romans 12:18, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Once I understood my limitations in peacemaking with a narcissist, I traded my unrealistic expectations for more realistic ones.

As far as it depends on me, required making progress toward Dr. Les Carter’s goal of relating with DRC,* dignity, respect, and civility. This meant I needed peace within myself, something I lacked.

With time, I identified Complex PTSD** symptoms; discovered ways to calm my thoughts and emotions; and sought counseling to untangle past triggering experiences.

Today, peace with God through His Son’s payment for my sins, peace-if-possible with others, and an increasing peace within remain some of my most cherished possessions.

Father, thank You for revealing my limitations in peacemaking with a narcissist, especially since they pursue conflict. Thank You for the foundational gift of peace with You through Your Son, Jesus Christ. Thank You for rescuing me from the exhaustion of trying to fix the narcissist relationship and for revealing the chaos within my soul. May You be glorified in this journey toward peace within. In Your Son’s name I pray, amen.

*YouTube; Dr. Les Carter, Ýour Dignity and the Narcissist’s Indignance”

**Complex PTSD refers to the disorder that results from on-going traumatic experiences.

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