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And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more
in knowledge and depth of insight….
My father constructed a cement container to collect seepage from a spring. Horses, cattle, and birds still drink from it throughout the year. It often overflows creating a narrow stream through the pasture. I thought of that stream in my counselor’s office when describing my overflowing love for the narcissist in my life, and the pain of having that love rejected.
I learned something significant about narcissism. Instead of receiving loving behaviors as a gift, my narcissistic spouse interpreted them as attempts at manipulation that imbalanced our relationship. My loving actions added plusses beside my name on his mental score-card, which designated me the winner.
Paul’s prayer for the Philippians believers has since refocused my heart:
…this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover’s life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God. (Philippians 1:9-11 MSG).
As I mature in learning to love well with intelligence and sincerity, I also care for my heart. I am learning to release the pain of unrequited love knowing that Jesus understands. He experienced the ultimate rejection, His sacrificial love for mankind.
Refocusing God’s love to those in the body of Christ satisfies that gnawing ache. I treasure those relationships as well as the one with my Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus—the ultimate source of sincere, intelligent, and blameless love.
Father, thank You for rescuing me from the cycle of rebuffed loving. I ask that You cause my love to flourish. I desire to grow in love for others as well as learning to love them well. Teach me to love appropriately, sincerely, and intelligently for Your glory. In Your Son’s name, Jesus, I pray, amen.
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