Jesus & Tears

“Woman,” he said, “Why are you crying?”

John 20:15

I did not understand that grieving requires such an enormous mental and emotional investment. Healing from narcissistic abuse involves both calming the chaos of my mind as well as enduring the challenging work of grieving.

Grieving requires me to identify each loss—hundreds of losses—then willingly experience the sadness, cry the tears, and incorporate each loss as part of my story. The intensity of this work involves setting aside time to be with my feelings, a new type of self-care.

I noticed something intimate about Mary Magdalene’s grieving at the empty tomb. The disciples, John and Peter, came and went, but Mary lingered to grieve. Within that lingering, she received a gift, the presence of the resurrected Jesus. Jesus joined Mary in her grief.

When I experience a backlog of sorrow, I ask these questions: Have I set aside time for my tears? Have I looked for Jesus in my times of deep grieving? Have I listened for His voice calling my name? Have I experienced the intimacy of grieving with Jesus?

In a transformative way, these periods of grief often lead me to experience moments of wonder akin to Mary’s Magdalene experience in the presence of her resurrected Savior. Knowing I am not alone in those private moments comforts my soul and renews my strength for tomorrow.

Father, thank You for stories, the events in Your Word that reveal such tender truths. Use my life’s story to do the same for others, for Your glory. In the name of the One who grieves with me, Jesus, I pray, amen.

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