Does This Apply to a Narcissistic Relationship?

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another,

as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32 ESV

Paul’s admonition to be kind to one another and tenderhearted, (Ephesians 4:32), influenced my codependent thinking into a submissive response during verbal abuse from my narcissistic relationship.

As the fog from years of gas-lighting lifted, I read Paul’s words differently. I saw that he wrote about relationships among believers in the church in Ephesus. He encouraged them toward spiritual growth and maturity.

Paul also used a phrase that I had overlooked, one another (the Greek word is eis). Paul wanted relationships to be reciprocal, two-way relationships, employing the same mercies toward one another that they had received from God. That is exactly the kind of relationship I desire from others and seek to offer.

I am learning to consider the whole counsel of Scripture for navigating narcissistic relationships. For instance, I can remind myself that when Paul instructed wives to submit to their husbands, he also admonished husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:22).

For today, I will ask the Holy Spirit to live out kindness, compassion, and forgiveness through me in my relationships with others as well as guide me in compassionate self-care in my more intimate relationships.

Father, thank You that Your Holy Spirit can guide me in understanding and applying Your Words in my life and in my relationships. Reveal to me when my codependent thoughts distort or limit what You want me to know. Guide me each day in seeing Your truths for my life and applying them to my choices and behaviors. Because of Your Son’s gift of life, I pray. Amen.

© Making Sense of My Life