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  • Alice N

Did I Lack Faith?

A woman praying for her narcissistic husband to change, did I lack faith?

“Whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive if you have faith.”

Matthew 21:22 NIV


My heart would always drop a bit each time I read Jesus’ promise, “Whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive if you have faith” (Matt. 21:22). For years, I had prayed for God to tender my narcissist’s heart toward me. I had asked in faith, believing God could do anything. I claimed this promise, and when nothing changed, wondered if I lacked faith.

After spending time in God’s Word, I am at a new place of understanding. I discovered that the problem was not simply my lack of faith , the problem was in the heart of another. Here is what I learned:

In this scene recorded in Matthew 21, Jesus spoke to his disciples about kingdom work and the power God provided for it. This instruction on prayer related to accomplishing God’s will as they spread the truth of Jesus, the promised Messiah. 

God said, “I live in the high and holy place with those whose spirits are contrite and humble” (Isa. 57:15).  There was the key! My narcissist’s lack of a contrite and humble spirit had limited the impact of my prayer for his changed heart.

In addition, I have learned to trust Jesus’ promise to answer my prayers with good things (Matt. 7:9-11). Like the good father toward his child, He would never give me a stone if I asked for bread. God’s inaction in response to my prayer to “change the narcissist” was not a stone of silence but, rather, a way of directing my heart into new avenues of seeking Him.

Ultimately, though, comfort comes from knowing my prayers were not wasted. The faith and love for God expressed in my prayers for the narcissist ascended as a pleasing incense before God’s throne (Rev. 5:8; 8:3-4) and will, one day, result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ (1 Peter 1:7).

Father, thank You for growing my trust as I seek to understand my limitations in a one-sided relationship. I know that Your heart ached along with mine as You heard my prayers. Thank you for treasuring them as offerings of love and faith. I ask that You hold my heart in Your loving hands as it aches for the New Creation when You will make all things whole, including our hearts. In Your Son’s name I pray, Amen. 




© Making Sense of My Life

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