Denying Reality

The Lord is near to all who call on him in truth.

Psalm 145:18

Paul David Tripp wrote, “If you are saying or thinking religious things that are meant to protect you from reality, you are not living biblical Christianity*.” His words convicted me of the times I claimed faith in God to camouflage my denial of reality.

I recalled discovering links to pornographic websites in my narcissistic spouse’s email inbox. “They just show up,” he said, “but I never click on them.” I asked him to delete them. I trusted God and my husband’s proclaimed commitment to God’s Word, yet I never checked to see if he deleted or blocked them.

A friend shared, “Years ago, I returned an overdue video that slid from under my husband’s car seat. Surprisingly, the attendant mentioned it was X rated. When I confronted my spouse, he said, ‘I know how you hate violent movies, so I only watch them when you are away.’ I chose to trust that this was an honest explanation rather than investigating what designated "X rated content.”

Denying reality protected my friend, and protected me, from seeing what we did not want to see. I have since learned that healing from narcissistic abuse requires seeing clearly rather than applying religious concepts to deny increasingly painful realities. Truthfully acknowledging each new reality allows me to experience the comforting and compassionate presence of the Lord Jesus Christ, even amid the pain.

Thank You, Father, that You are both the source of all truth and the strength to see and accept it. Thank You for walking with me into each new reality of the days ahead. May I rest in Your compassionate strength for me. In Your Son’s name I pray, amen.

*Trip, Paul David, New Morning Mercies, Crossway Publishers

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