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Alice N

Authenticity Before God



Healing from narcissistic abuse has involved excavating my authentic self, I wept before the Lord, pouring out my heart

 

“God has chosen to let you live in this fallen world because He plans to employ the difficulties of it to continue and complete His work in you.”

Paul David Tripp*

 

Paul Tripp’s comment, “God has chosen to let me live in this fallen world because He plans to employ the difficulties of it to continue and complete His work in me,” restates what Paul wrote to believers in Roman’s 8:28. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”


This truth has encouraged me to look for ways God is working for good in my life.


I had lived in various forms of denial a very long time, denying my feelings, my perceptions, and the reality of my relationship with a narcissist.


Healing from narcissistic abuse has involved excavating my authentic self—retrieving what I feel, believe, prefer, etc., everything I had set aside to accommodate the narcissist.


This desire for authenticity extends to my relationship with God. I long to identify and humbly acknowledge to God what I am feeling, then ask Him to align my thoughts and emotions with His thoughts and His truth revealed through Scripture.


I recall doubting God’s trustworthiness when I realized the person I had trusted had only masqueraded as my husband. He had been incapable of loving me as a person, only as an asset. How could my heavenly Father have allowed me to naively walk into this illusion. Doubting His trustworthiness frightened me. Yet, I was being honest as I struggled in confusion.


I wept before the Lord, pouring out my heart. I then asked Him to bring my brokenness to the place He had brought Job’s, ready to declare, “Surely, I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know…. My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you (Job 42:3,5).


And, with time, He has begun helping me see the bigger picture of God’s work in my life. I’ve begun catching glimpses of His redemption as He demonstrates His grace and mercy in my life.


So, walk forward into the future with faith and trust in God’s promise to work things for your good. He is trustworthy.


 

* New Morning Mercies

 

  

 

 

 

 

© Making Sense of My Life

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