A Living, Redeeming God

I know that my redeemer lives….

Job 19:25

I believe that my God of redemption is alive and active and that He redeems all He allows (Job 19:25). I believe God can cause all things to conform me to His image (Romans 8:28). Yet, even with these confidences, I doubted God’s ability to redeem my failed relationship with a narcissist.

The soul numbing, intangible ways narcissism wounded my heart convinced me these injuries were, indeed, unredeemable. These wounds sprang from the dark side of life--a side that I was certain was untouchable by God’s redeeming grace.

In desperation, I finally prayed, “There is absolutely nothing I can fathom that You, Lord, can do with this mess, but I deposit these broken pieces of my life at Your feet, in faith, for You to redeem for Your glory.”

Along with Job, I can now confidently proclaim that my redeemer not only lives but is willing and able to redeem the tragedy of my narcissist wounding. I consistently catch glimpses of God at work: a granddaughter acquiring life skills for navigating change; compassionate conversations with other wounded women; and observing adult children identifying wounds and beginning to heal.

I also trust God’s redeeming grace to break generational patterns and create a new lineage of emotionally healthy and faithful lives. I will exit this world without knowledge of how God will continue to grow and strengthen His kingdom throughout successive generations. But for now, I choose to face each day available to bring glory to God by the choices I make, confident that even within narcissistic brokenness, He can and will faithfully work for His glory.

Father, thank you for opening my eyes to see the way You redeemed lives within the pages of Your Word. I long for that same creative grace in my life and within the lives of my children. Forgive my lack of faith in Your promise and power. Open my eyes to the multiple ways You continue to reveal Your presence each day. It is In Your Son’s name, Jesus, I pray, amen.

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